To Alex -

To Alex...who is far away in person, but never far from my heart. I miss you. Enjoy these snippets of everyday family life here in the states.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

This young lady....

This is one of those posts so you may not want to read further.

Let me begin. This young lady, right here....

inspires me in ways I never could have imagined. I've written about her before and I'll write about her again. This is my 4 y/o granddaughter and I waited 30 years (from the time her Daddy, my oldest, was born) to get to her and I assure you, the very essence of her was worth every minute of the wait. I don’t mean to imply that she is a ‘mini-me’, but she looks like me, we share personality traits, she reminds me of who I thought I was. She reminds me of who I could have been, who I can be.

She is bright, and curious, and sweet, and generous and so full of love and life. When Alex was home over Christmas, he remarked on the family life she has (along with her brothers). He said it was a safe home and a home full of love. By safe, I think he meant both physically and emotionally. My grandchildren are growing up immersed in love from aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, parents and their siblings. What a wonderful way to grow up. I didn’t grow up feeling like that. My childhood was dangerous and fraught with fear. I did have a protector, who helped me learn to be brave, but he was only a year older than me and he was torn from my childhood home when I was 12. I was lucky in that I survived with no physical scars, but there are emotional scars. This young lady inspires me to continue being brave, and because I know she is learning from me, she inspires me to shake off the last vestiges of my broken childhood. She inspires me to reach beyond the emotional scars to live a fuller and healthier life. One would think that at my age, I would have already done this since I am a grandmother. But life had a way of going on and allowing me to use whatever defense mechanisms I had at hand to get through the motherhood era. It seems grandchildren cause me to be more aware of being a whole person. It seems this young lady is a springboard for me. Thank you, my little Chickabee.

I’m about to embark on the Inside Out e-course, for which I am very excited, but this journey began in earnest this past January when I signed up for the One Small Change and the Reduce Clutter challenges. One Small Change has helped me to make small monthly changes in my physical life, but also got me thinking about small changes I could make in my emotional life as well. It’s not scary to make small changes, but it got me to thinking, a lot, and it’s been a rough winter for me emotionally because of it.

Reduce Clutter is helping me to clear out physical objects from my home, but it asks what mental clutter are we hanging on to. Hmmm, then I come across A Step Toward Balance and I know I want balance in my emotional life. I’m seeing a pattern here. Geez, who knew the three challenges would be so connected. So, as I begin this new journey, I’m filled with hope…and I’m inspired by this young lady…and the wonderful women I have met through here. As an aside, but completely related, I love sticky notes and I write inspiring messages that I come up with or that I come across and I post them on the walls of my CRS where I see them all the time. One of my favorites has been “Women who inspire Women.” This is so accurate and so fitting for my life right now. So, to all the women and young ladies who inspire me, thank you, and please wish me luck as I begin this journey toward a fuller and healthier emotional life.


  1. she still needs to learn to share her pop*tarts w/ me...

  2. she is adorable. thanks for sharing a bit of your inspiration with us! so happy you are in class!

  3. what a thought provoking post. wishing you luck on your entire journey, emotional and physical. i am so glad i have met you in this online community and she is lucky to have you as a grandma!

  4. What a great inspiration and how amazing to see a piece of yourself in someone else!